#Books

Catfish, Joan Chen, Chinese ebook read in 2025

Catfish is a collection of autobiographical essays by filmmaker Joan Chen. Through the author’s retrospective lens, a vivid tapestry of life unfolds: the stories of her ancestors and mother; years spent in the old house on Pingjiang Road; the days traveling in a caravan with the Little Flower film crew; and her solitary journey abroad to study. From the hidden stories behind every film to the love, pain, and struggles of existence, it is all laid bare on the page.

When recounting her family’s past, she offers a uniquely "Shanghainese" narrative—a spiritual history of the Chinese intelligentsia. Spanning the behind-the-scenes world of films like Little Flower, The Last Emperor, The Home Songbird, and The Sun Also Rises, it serves as a cinematic memoir. From a childhood in Shanghai to her struggles in a foreign land, these life journeys represent the intimate whispers of a woman possessed of both passion and tenderness.

Review

Joan’s memoir is a remarkably candid account of her life, providing a window into the era in which my mother grew up. The narratives concerning her family and relationships are portrayed with the grace of a beautiful flower in a pristine garden; however, it is her courage in making difficult decisions that defines her success. This connection to her story prompted me to visit her former home, a quintessential Shanghai lane house located in the shadow of a prominent hospital.

Notes

Excerpt 1: On the Lost Generation

一段时间以后，我才懂得了那样的悲哀。他们的青春和才华，梦想和爱，已经被一场场的政治运动耗尽。一切付之东流，往事不堪回首。

• Summary: Reflecting on the sorrow of a generation whose youth, talent, and dreams were drained by successive political movements, leaving only painful memories.

Excerpt 2: On the Art of Letter Writing

我喜欢写信，因为它是一种可以随时展开的对话。无论对方在不在，你都可以在任意一个早晨坐下来跟他说话。你可以随便聊，而不必礼貌地等待对方完成他的思路。段落之间可以隔很长时间——也许好几天过后，你会重新拿起笔接着聊……

• Summary: A meditation on the intimacy and freedom of writing letters, allowing for a continuous dialogue that transcends time and the physical presence of the recipient.

Excerpt 3: On Memories Without Cameras

那时我还没有相机，时间没有从绵延的生命中被切割成一百分之一秒的单位，夹到相册里。那些没有被相机拍过的记忆——人脸、人声、语言、地方，熟悉的和不认识的，似曾相识的和梦里的，欣喜若狂或绝望无底的——像时间河流里的一块块石头，被岁月磨成了卵石，上面长出一层毛茸茸的青苔，边上沉淀了淤泥砂石。

• Summary: A poetic description of memories before the era of photography. Without "1/100th of a second" snapshots, memories become like river stones—smoothed by time and covered in moss.

Excerpt 4: On Maturity and "Death"

她用了一句很有治愈力的话安慰我：人必须经历两次死亡才能成熟——一是理想的死亡，二是爱情的死亡，成熟是死亡后的重生。

• Summary: A profound healing thought: maturity requires surviving two "deaths"—the death of one's ideals and the death of love. Maturity is the rebirth that follows.

Excerpt 5: On Bernardo Bertolucci and China

记得贝托鲁奇在一次晚餐时说起过一九八四年第一次到中国时的心情，那时他在好莱坞准备了两年的一部电影泡汤了，回意大利后看到的腐败和犬儒让他渴望远离，越远越好。他自从看过安东尼奥尼的纪录片《中国》，一直向往那个还未曾被物质主义、消费主义污染的神秘国度。他开始阅读中国古典文学，思考能够在中国拍摄的电影题材。“人之初，性本善”在他眼里是一个浪漫的概念。

• Summary: Recounting director Bernardo Bertolucci’s motivation for coming to China in 1984, seeking an escape from Western cynicism and finding a "pure" world untainted by consumerism.

Excerpt 6: On Personal Truth and Universality

他让我懂得了，我们越忠实地表达个人，作品就越具有普世性。

• Summary: A realization that the more faithfully an artist expresses their personal experience, the more universal their work becomes.

Excerpt 7: Recommended Reading List

他还给我推荐了一些书籍，比方林海音的《城南旧事》、齐邦媛的《巨流河》、土耳其作家奥尔罕·帕慕克的《伊斯坦布尔》、英格玛·伯格曼的《魔灯》。

• Book List:

  • Memories of Peking: South Side Stories by Lin Hai-yin

  • The Great River (Juliu River) by Chi Pang-yuan

  • Istanbul: Memories and the City by Orhan Pamuk

  • The Magic Lantern by Ingmar Bergman